The Trap

I was talking to a dear friend tonight about the trap. You've seen the trap a hundred times. Your at a wedding reception or some party like that. As you meet new people, you want to find out more about them. Often times, one of the first questions asked is, "What do you do?" And the trap has been sprung.

Our society seems to hone in on the notion that our identity is tied up in our jobs, our careers. We are the job that we do and the money that we earn. I throw people off when I meet them. Often times I ask people how they spend their time, what things are important to them, or what they enjoy doing. It alarms them. I don't think they are often asked that question.

If I meet you in that setting, I want you to know that I am not interested in your job or your career first. I want to know WHO you are. What do you value? How do you spend your time? Who are the people you love? Why do you love them? (your children or your spouse or your parents, for example) And then I want you know that I truly do enjoy hearing your story. Would you tell it to me, please? Don't hold back sharing what's important to you. When people are passionate about something, then sharing that passion with others--now that's exciting stuff. I may not agree with you, but at least I know who you are, not whose time clock you punch.